The Southside Whisky Club  

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Ali has attended 17 of 100 meetings.
They've reviewed 119 whiskies, giving an average rating of 6.3 out of 10.
Tasting whiskies from 20 regions, most (26) have come from Speyside.
The average whisky they've tasted is 49.7%.

 
 
9.2

Boil the billy furra cuppa mayt! AWWWW MAYT! 'Bonza (itsa billy-o-cawfee mayt!)'. Eeevry bugger’s beltin' “Bonza “itsa “bonza 'itsa billy-o-cawfee mayt!'? Cawfee up the wazoo mayt!
8.8

This has a powerful, aromatic capriciousness (best taken orally) but still has a whiff of an unfinished PowerPoint, which Ali was convinced had something to do with The Pelican Brief and the taste of his school pal Nick Marsh.
8.8

8.7

A mixed evening of interesting bottles. From an SMWS Glen Scotia to an Icelandic 'whisky', a Japanese blend and a private cask bottle from Glenglassaugh.
8.6

Some unusual nosing techniques attempted here (giving the unusual category of 'taste on the eye', conclusion: sting-y), and someone said "the biggest fucking joke in the whisky club", we're virtually "100% farm" sure this wasn't meant negatively towards the nose, but who kno...
8.6

8.5

In some kind of mad banana-fuelled rage, he storms out the room, picks up his damp laundry and coffee cake and runs off into the chorizo horizon.
8.2

Sour like green apples and the last salty vinegar strokes of a final fatal asphyxiwank, in a flat meticulously cleaned in preparation for said act, mingled with the tang of the lemon that he failed to bite down upon at the crucial moment (every day’s a school day!). ...
8.2

Rubbery. Really, really rubbery. "Stop saying rubbery!". Someone thought it was rubbery in the
8.0

It was still aligned with normality when strawberry Starburst and buttery were observed (or obnosed), but then we got a bit abstract: an isolated pond, 'quite sorry like campers' (?), a man peeing on a night out ("Sheila 2014") and deep-fried pig rectum (!)..
8.0

Various kinds of confectionary are vying for our attention here - of the sucky sweet variety (cola cubes, barley sugars), more fruit-based efforts (fruit salads, tangfastics) and finally dark chocolate.
8.0

"It's unclear whether the latter was simply a reference to the length of nail that the pneumatic drilling would be sensibly combined with, or a clever twist on the the band 9 Inch Nails, and this was in fact suggesting this whisky was like pneumatic drilling on a stage for w...
7.9

7.9

When a whisky is described as 'nail varnish and farty figs', 'goaty' 'cream candy (co)ca(i)ne' and 'expelled air from a bouncy castle', you know it's at least interesting. Oh, and 'figgy piggy' / 'hamnanas & rumtanas' on the taste. Intriguing..
7.8

It was so farmy, that we wrote down 'FARMY!!!' to make the point unforgettable. Damp hay and silage emphasised the point, and 'slaaaaag' was mentioned, said like a lady who partakes in many men, but perhaps referencing a pile of quarry soilings?
7.8

7.8

Someone’s on the Grapa instead (there’s always one) - bet you it’s the one smelling the 15-19 year old girls perfume and exclaiming ‘You've got nice cornicing’..... hello!
7.7

We're saying medium, but on the short side like Steffi Graf serving on a 15 mile tennis court. It's spicy or maybe popping candy as it dissipates, the sweetness of marshmallows sneaking in towards the end.
7.7

Everything from Chewy from Star Wars to chromotography. From a powdery taste to melted cling film. From the fear of popping candy to other worldly.
7.6

If there was ever a whisky whose nose was no indication of what was to come in the palate, then here it is. It's like a nasal ninja, popping up your nose and lieing to your face.
7.6

7.5

Something really interesting going on here - a mad mix of spices and old wood. Oniony. Lychees. Something a bit chinese going on. Tom yum soup.
7.5

7.5

The bottle seemed to be reviewed as enthusiastically as the whisky: OMG, #fail, aggressively sexual, I like it, it looks like a buttplug, looks like champagne or overpriced vodka, I do like the text.
7.5

Pop round to Bill Tong's house for a biscuit (he lives in Pleasantsville) and he'll no doubt give you a peak into his musty old wardrobe. If you ask nicely, he'll even show you his peppery cucumber - a true delight!
7.5

Tastes 'de-lish' and unlike a grain. In fact, this could easily be an island dram - it's sweet and then... smoky? It's hard to categorise but it 'doesn't taste like rat piss', which is always a bonus.
7.5

It was deemed a morning whisky, or breakfast dram, with many attendant caveats. And finally, the sense of something intangible, call it "rhrhyrhtrtgrtg", if you will.
7.5

If i were going to stick any firework up my arse, it would be a roman candle - so it looks like you're pooping fire
7.5

It's definitely rubbery but also really sweet (brown sugar), creamy (cream soda, butter) and peppery (er.. pepper). "What do cymbals smell like?" ("cymbolic?" - it's no longer clear how well this joke went down..). In fact, it smells of cymbal cleaner - the drummers in the a...
7.5

'Salted almonds'. As far as openings go, in an olfactory game of chess, that truly was a Grob's Attack. So much so, that it was immediately declared to be 'wrong'. But foolhardy he or she who dismisses the Swiss International Master Henri Grob..
7.4

A really intriguing taste with exotic origins: onion bhajis with yoghurt dip, lemon rind, Eat Me dates (the hottest kind..?), cardamom, cheesy curry. Then things got a bit sweeter to nicely balance the exotica - pineapple juice (and Hamish's terrible joke...now forgotten), p...
7.4

7.4

Cigar lounge whisky, Gary Lineker's Sex Face (potential for a band name right there) and metallic (but not Metallica).
7.3

We taste old-school sweets and, displaying scant regard for the actual process involved, honey 'direct from a bee's bum'.
7.2

7.2

Six billion. The population of the world if you perform a 'Chinese takeaway', that is for some inexplicable reason don't count the population of China. And round up. It tastes of Chinese takeaway, is what I'm trying to say.
7.1

Pop this under yo schnozzer and it's immediately festival time, one where you hang around by the sea, breathe in the coastal air, have a BBQ with some seagulls and get beaten to death by a peat fire!
7.1

This went both ways for people: some hated it, some liked it a lot and some thought it was cracking fun. It tasted like everything on a farmyard blended together, some moist sawdust and cherried bog water. And when 'cherried bog water' is the most encouraging taste, you know...
7.1

Everything from raisin sawdust to Burgundy-coloured tapestries, with a stopover at to see Bruce Springsteen and the original German Werther's factory.
7.1

The air infiltrated with sea spray and smoke, possibly a bit more pungent like the smoke from a cigarette bin fire. Fresh in the form of fuchsias, strawberries, cluster cherries, borderline mushy green grapes but also punchy and spirity like solvent and new make.
7.0

Yikes, well now the party's started - it's a full-mooner, and there's a raging inferno of wasp stings, curry leaves, beef sherbet, Kendal mint cake and jalapeno peppers (stuffed with cheese for good measure) . And just in case you weren't convinced of its strength, someone i...
7.0

Pepper spray and chilis start the emergency, with burnt sugared-apple and burnt birch bark hampering the rescue efforts - once inside, the air is still tingly and a smell of vinegar lingers.
7.0

Apricots are squabbling with the ripe bananas while the fruit salad looks on in horror at the remains of the raspberry dripping off the blades of a blender. You can almost literally smell the unmistakable smell of the brains of one of the Californian raisins from the adverts...
7.0

But, oh no! What's this? It's only Inappropriate Culturally-mis-matching Pudding Man! "I see you're enjoying a nice Japanese bath! Here, have some crme caramel and Christmas pudding, you idiot!". He then faded into the steamy evening, with only the slowly receding clip-clop...
7.0

If there's any fish that can be subtle, then surely it's the lowly anchovy? Imagine that poor fella swimming around unnoticed and you've got the finish down to a T.
7.0

Woody, cheesy with Jalapenos and a coastal sea air wafting in bringing metallic iron to an empty hipflash.
7.0

We seemed to agree on a hot / sweet flavours here – honey petals (?), spicy cayenne, raisins & bananas, breakfast Weetabix, tart tatin, and deception.
7.0

You'd think any tasting review that starts with "like lava at Mount Fugu!" would be firmly put in its place for terrible cultural mismatching, but I'm pretty sure this 'error' was intended - it was hot, fiery and there was a small chance of a poisonous death, but if you trea...
6.9

You're having a porky barbecue with ribs, except that guy you didn't want to come came and the pork he brought was oldand he got some cheesy maple syrup from Pizza One Pancake Too in Norwich and insisted that everyone try his candied Kerosene and medicine-flavoured ice-cream...
6.8

The outdoor picnic continues – not sure if there is enough food to go round but glad everyone remembered to bring their herbs and seasoning: plenty of black pepper, rosemary, thyme and fresh peppermint.
6.8

6.8

6.8

The only nose we recorded was 'not much of a nose', so I guess this didn't have much of a nose. Feel like there was a lack of the typical corny-graininess (in a good way), but can't be 100% sure!
6.8

6.8

6.7

I don't know what 'distilled grass' is, but if it were a real thing, it would smell like this - but also haggis.
6.5

A new wooden snare (the excitement of Hamish receiving a new snare; imagine winning it for 1 on ebay!), WHISKY! burnt sugar, Omar Sharif, stewed cherries, Jack Spaniels, orange blossom & mahogany.
6.5

On the finish - a resonance of smoke rings (stolen from another) and a coal shuttle but also a contrasting freshness of fir, caraway, heather and mint. The taste lingers but not as much as you might expect.
6.5

6.5

EVEN MORE DISAGREEMENT on whether it was good or didn't have much going on. There was ABSOLUTELY NO DISAGREEMENT that it was earthy.
6.5

6.5

With Russell's declaration that he went to an amateur wrestling match ringing in our ears, we cracked on with the smells. The result reads like a shopping list for the dessert menu of an ailing restaurant, whose chef is unable to see the difference between wackiness for its ...
6.5

Some fondly remembered encounters of uncloven animals chewing on some grass. For others, it is trip to France for some Tarte Tatin covered in custard.
6.4

Cherryish and raisiny - strangely our convictions seem to be deserting us as we consume more alcohol, the opposite of normal. Talking of 'deserting', we also got bread and butter pudding..
6.3

6.3

6.2

Your tongue tingles with this one - imagine grating black pepper onto your tongue, or as one put it, 'ant blood'.
6.0

After a few more sniffs it appeared to conjure deeper, more sentimental, notes of girl’s plastic toys (‘My little Pony’ to be exact), old lady perfume (controversially 43+ years), the Chinese fan on Shelley’s wall, Windolene and for those amongst us who obviously had a more...
6.0

The aromas wafted to the cafe next door where weekend brunchers were deciding on raspberry jam, burnt orange marmalade or honey (specifically Futurama space bee honey) to drizzle on their hot crumpets
6.0

Imagine you've successfully crossed a bee with a dragon and this creature produces large quantities of honey and also breathes fire. Any given day you have a 50:50 probability of being burnt or grabbing some of the honey he's produced.
6.0

6.0

6.0

6.0

Burnt Moss (Stirling's son, conceived after a very sexy race at the Nrburgring, very different to Colin McRae's win at the Nuremberg Rally
6.0

6.0

A Cognac that goes from being "reet fruity" all the way to "Fuck me, that's grapey".
6.0

Cherry lip death and very drunken bananas. Like all the condiments I like: Worcester sauce, Tabasco, ketchup, brown sauce and vinegar. And rinds of various kinds.
6.0

"I'm going to say lavender flavoured". *silence* ..then.. "what did you say? What the fuck did you say?". From another reviewer: "no way." Talk of it smelling like a Jalfrezi was laughed away (as intended), but a suggestion that it was like "old woman-y perfume" wasn't (as i...
6.0

Oranges, orange rind, pith..."What a pithy comment" - Phil (no one laughs). "Says a guy who chases his whisky with milk" - Christina (people laugh). "Another pithy comment!" - Ali L (reaction unrecorded).
6.0

Well, despite his unfortunate decent into chronic financial problems and alcoholism towards the end of his distinguished career, this tastes surprisingly nothing like I imagine he would have tasted.
5.9

There appear to have been a couple of camps (not glamps) here, with some getting an intense, dry, woody vibe and some a fruity sweetness - weird.
5.9

You've been sent to a hospital by the sea with the unfortunate condition of having caramelised your bananas. After the decent run of medical science, it transpired in the late 2020s that actually herbal medicine and alternative therapies were correct, and they swiftly replac...
5.9

Quite light... "it's not an unpleasant thing to put in your mouth though, right?". [bagpipes are drowning us out...] Phil describes bagpipes as "an audible version of a headache". Ooga booga booga!
5.8

5.8

Banana foams give us a link from fruit to toffee, with coconut and tree sap watching from the sidelines. Flying saucers too (presumably the sweets?), but also a touch of bleach and Glacier Mints - a mixed bag!
5.8

5.8

5.7

There were lots of floral things being brought up, but the tone wasn't that glowing: outdoors but indoors (like a greenhouse), a bad flower, parma violets - parma violence -, tomato pheromones, and those small white flowers in a flower arrangement.
5.5

There is a whiff of recently prepared surgical tools but also a floral fruitiness with pineapple, apple (granny Smith to be precise!), cherry pie, lemon (rudely shouted at that) and bluebells feed to a halibut?!
5.5

Apple strudel. Superglue. Molten syrup. Ail varnish remover, games workshop's own-branded superglue
5.5

5.5

It smelled like some kind of mad honey distillery: warm copper with metallic wafts, sawdust on the floor and honey in the air.
5.4

Unripe stewed rhubarb, post-cocaine back-nose dribble (hints of), rosewater, sweet fresh oak, a distant chemical toilet, feijoa (A made-up fruit from NZ)..
5.4

5.3

There’s also a subtle earthiness with moss, hay and apple wood (the wood not the cheese)…not sure if I should mention “the blood soaked teddy on a damp fire place”...maybe he meant iron and damp earth?
5.2

5.2

I have a soft spot for dark wood.
5.1

More creaminess. Shortbread. Oh yes, a classic HP. Subtle background of fruit. Exotic fruits! MANGO! PASSIONFRUIT! A bit sickly. Agree with passion fruit but killed by cream.
5.0

The French have burnt their toast in here with sweet maple syrup, cherry tunes, Werther's Originals, cola cubes and evaporated lime cordial thrown in to hide the taste.
5.0

There's now a herby, bitter sourness and Aquavit is the new alcohol metaphor, with toothpaste and dentist's mouthwash taking on the clinical mantle.
5.0

This had Finn Russell on the finish, which was perhaps it's most interesting feature?
5.0

5.0

Watch me drizzle honey all over my lemon, as I slowly unpeel my banana and undress this orange with my teeth. Take a freshly fucked pineapple and cocoNuts and voila – it’s a Penis Colada.
5.0

We seem to have got pretty brand-focused smelling this, think we sent our corporate wing over by mistake: good varnish (like Ronseal), polycement, dried coriander, rubbish Turps, metal, Toffiffees, Chewits, OWLS, Playdough.
5.0

It depends on how you like your sailors but this one had been out at sea for at least 40 days and was starting to absorb the aromas of the remaining fermenting bananas and gooseberries.
5.0

It depends on how you like your sailors but this one had been out at sea for at least 40 days and was starting to absorb the aromas of the remaining fermenting bananas and gooseberries.
4.9

The positive was almond flour. The rest was diluted whisky, clean, empty, acid reflux and a burst balloon. The finish was minus two.
4.5

4.5

4.5

4.5

4.5

4.2

"Smells radge" and "holy fuckballs!" sum up the general feeling towards the smell, although there was some variation, with one saying it smelled boring, hard to place, generic and not very good and another saying it was the best nose of any whisky they'd experienced
4.0

4.0

Coriander and over cooked cabbage mingle with a definite ‘Iron’ smell of blood – raw black pudding to be exact. Perhaps a wee bit feisty like Atomic fire balls or even ‘Hepatitis E’.
3.9

One thought it was 'unfun' and that is goes down like a pint of crushed glass. Others were more positive in their review: Smells of arse, but tastes nice. Grape shit. Toxic waste. And some were bordering on glowing in praise: Flippers.
3.0

There was even a suggestion of mint toffee! - the most flavourful flavour we came up with. Most agree it's better than the selection of 70s blends we sampled on the way (the names of which were fading away - Abbott's Fingers? Nun's Chuffs?).
2.0

In a mad combo of food, emotions, sacrificial techniques and poor fire control, it was also described as: smoked cheese, emptiness, immolation, oversmoked and citrus toast.
1.5

Oh my god, holy fuck tomatoes, it does not smell of quality, smells of shit, farmyard new make, oil smell of sheep wool, a running dairy farm, worst smell ever